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Is there a difference between something that will disappear and something that never existed?


I asked Ying one Sunday afternoon.
“Yeah, I will miss the thing that will disappear more than the thing that never existed.” She answered.
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Because how can you miss something that has never existed?”

As I pondered over that question, I couldn’t help but agree with what she said. It is true that we cannot miss something that has never happened since we have never experienced it. But I say that with that same statement is that we also start to miss out on what could have happened.

For example, think about a love that has disappeared in your life. Sure it may have broken your heart but if someone would ask you if you would want to relive it again, you would agree without a thought right? Because no matter how painful the ending was, the beginning and the middle of your love story contains memories and experiences that made you what you are today, memories and experiences that will forever be engraved in your whole being (I don’t wanna say heart, too cheesy >.< ).
Now think about never ever having that love,
never ever having that relationship, never experiencing the tingles you felt with that special person, never having the chance to notice and listen to those love songs that reminded you of that person. You will never experience all those feelings and events just because you simply didn’t do anything to make it happen. Maybe you just didn’t ask her/him out. Perhaps, you weren’t interested or he/she wasn’t. All those memories that could have happened are gone all because of the choice you or he/she made. Therefore that thing that has never existed now creates an even deeper impact than the thing that will disappear. And that leads us to another question: What would cause you more pain, regret or reminiscence? Which one will cause you more pain, which one will hover over your head in the middle of the night while darkness surrounds you as your silent tears fall down your cheek? Which one will you be longing to go back to? Which one will affect the unknown future?

Which one will cost you more…?


Is it the regret of the choices you have made to have caused that relationship, event and experience to not exist or the reminiscing of the past memories that you have gained?

So in my point of view, the thing that has never existed is the thing that I will miss more simply because in life
we tend to regret the things we didn't do more than the ones we did.

1 comments:

Bart Tolina | January 22, 2010 at 8:38:00 PM PST

punta ka sa blog ko at may libreng pagkain! http://barttolina.blogspot.com/

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